Please read this mother's post below and tell me if it sounds like emotional abuse. There is one sentence I find badly worded:
"I do not believe in teaching children self esteem or that they should feel good about themselves, because they should not."
She does not explain this very well. I assumed she meant they shouldn't be taught all the silly things the world teaches, like "just believe in yourself" "you are a perfect angel" "you are a princess"...and things that encourage them to think they are the center of the universe.
Anyway, Here's is her whole entry:
"O wretched little girl she is, who will deliver her from her body of death.
First thing in the morning my 4 year old daughter normally says to me, "I am going to be a good girl today mummy". When she says this she really means it, and I can see how she longs to finish even just one day in her life without doing anything wrong. However my daughter knows as well as I do that within at the least an hour of saying she is going to be good, that promise will be broken. Sometimes during the day or before bed, she always asks me if she has been good, and I always try to be as honest as I can with her, and I will tell her what she has done wrong if I can remember. If she has been better than usual I will praise her and tell her. I have never said to her she has been a perfect little girl who has done nothing wrong all day, If I say that to her then I am a liar and I will be doing her more harm than good. I do not believe in teaching children self esteem or that they should feel good about themselves, because they should not. My daughter is a normal 4 year old who loves to play with her dolls and dress up, but everyday she finds that she is doing things that are wrong like doing something to upset her baby brother or not doing what she is told by her mum. So we have a problem, and this is an everyday battle. The problem is sin. I never taught my daughter to sin. This is because she, and as well as the rest of the human race have inherited a sinful nature from Adam. From the moment we are conceived we are sinners, Psalm 57:5. We are born with a desire to sin. We are all born God hating and evil.
However this morning my daughter shocked and amazed me. As usual first thing when she woke up today she said, " I am going to be a good girl today mummy" , and I nodded and said, "OK". She was quiet for a while as if in deep thought then she said, " But mummy, everyday I try and I want to be a good girl, but I can't do it. I can't be a good girl". I didn't know what to say to her at this point so I asked her why she could not do it. " Because there is only one person who can ever help me to be good", she said.
So not knowing where this was going and a little confused by what my daughter was saying, I asked her who it is who would help her to be a good girl, thinking maybe she was going to say me, she said- Jesus. Yes my four year old daughter told me that the only person who would ever help her to be a good girl was Jesus Christ, because she could not do it on her own. I have never told her this. I would have thought this is too deep for a four year old to understand. That she was a sinner, she could not control her sinful nature. She wanted to be good but she could not, instead she did things that where wrong no matter how she tried to be good. Her theology is far deeper than that of many preachers today. I mean she gets it. It is only by the finished work of Christ on the cross that we can be delivered from sin. The righteousness of God is imputed to us when we forsake our sins and believe, 2 Corinthians 5:21. It is Christ who works in us enabling us to do good when we are saved, otherwise all our good works are like filthy rugs before God. She sounded like Paul in Romans 7, " O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? And she understood the answer, that it is only through Christ that we can be delivered and freed from the bondage of sin. I was so amazed by God's power that I wanted to cry. I have never shared this with her, so how did she know? It can only be the work of the Holy Spirit. For a little girl to know that she can not be good on her own, that there is only one who can help her, that is Jesus is beyond my comprehension. When she said that all I said to her was that she was right. I did not say anything more as I was in shock and I did not want to ruin what the Lord was doing in her heart. I am not saying she got saved, she is only four. But one thing I know God is definitely working in my little girl's life. It encouraged me to pray for her even more. She is a wretched little girl, who knows she is a wretched sinner who needs only a good saviour to help her. Glory belongs to God! "
I'm also thinking people are thinking that she is calling her daughter a "wretch", when she's saying that her daughter, in her own (4-year-old) way, expressed what the Apostle Paul said about his own condition (and all of our conditions, without the help of Christ).
"Her theology is far deeper than that of many preachers today."
"She sounded like Paul in Romans 7"
"And she understood the answer, that it is only through Christ that we can be delivered and freed from the bondage of sin. I was so amazed by God's power that I wanted to cry."
"I am not saying she got saved, she is only four. But one thing I know God is definitely working in my little girl's life."
These are reasons I do not believe she is emotionally abusing her daughter, although now that the British Child Protection is investigating this, I'm thinking they will see a happy, well adjusted child that knows she's loved, yet also recognizes she's a sinner.
They are probably expecting to see a religiously fanatic unstable mom, the way we see in horror movies and read in scary books...and a sad, withdrawn little girl that looks like she is going to grow up to be like Stephen King's 'Carrie' and burn down her high-school prom. I don't think that will be the case at all!
Anyway, what do you think of her post? Emotional abuse or not emotional abuse?
